Another Great Spam Message

It's been over a year since I published a couple of the wonderfully bizarre spam messages caught by Blogger's spam filter (the previous ones are here and here). Today I got one that's a winner. This is a great illustration of how syntax tricks our brains into expecting substance where none exists; just try and read it without imagining there's some story here you just can't quite understand. You won't be able to do it. And yet, all the while, you'll know it's gibberish. Enjoy the stupendous absurdity! And thank you foreign spammers with mediocre translation software. Keep up the terrible, terrible work you are doing.

"Even his own falsely accused attackers prepared to have a court around Detroit, typically the 54-year-old priest assured the actual members which he has never been afraid during the harm The following thursday, while some other gentlemen endured within the stop with out going to this assistance. Methods express the woman's seven available perfect hits photos, and a remix selection, can along distribute concerning 20 or so,Thousand to successfully 60,1000 clones with week's conclusion in Wednesday, May possibly 20. (Together with fewer than A single,Thousand last month.) The key dealer of your bunch may just be "The Excursion: The superior involving Donna Summer season," sega's discharged during '03. Moreover performing very well will be your girlfriend for starters best-of, 1979's "On radio stations." Monsignor Bill Hodge mentioned they've happy regarding Hagar's monetary gift, which will be which is used to fatten the particular groceries baggage of your hundreds of individuals that visited the actual church's nutrition pantry twice per full week, many of so, who job low-wage job opportunities but still do not have sufficient to chow down."

What do you make of it? I imagine that, in its native language, it was a story about a priest who got caught supporting a soup kitchen with the proceeds of a dirty website appealing to disco fetishists. It's a gripping tale asking a challenging moral question about the ends justifying the means. Sammy Hagar plays a role by weighing in publicly to support Father Hodge, and even gives a large financial contribution to the priest's defense. Unfortunately, an angry mob is not satisfied by Sammy Hagar's wisdom, and threatens to string up Father Hodge before he can get a fair trial. The mob is so large, it completely encircles all of the city of Detroit. Father Hodge then gives an impassioned explanation, complete with hard data about the sixty-one-thousand clones whose souls were saved by the dirty website. The mob still thirsts for his blood, but he is rescued by none other than your girlfriend, who performs well in the daring escape. Left with no priest to hang and nothing but their low-wage jobs, the angry mob ironically finds solace by sitting down together for a huge meal at the (actual) church pantry, where they all chow down.

That must be what it's about, right? Alternate theories welcomed.